You know what... It has been said that the opposite of love is not hatred, but fear... And hatred? Well that's just a sub-emotion of fear.
When I heard that, some years back, I used to battle it. When I battled it I was pretty angry and trying to find loopholes through that statement because I hated my father. I was at the point in my life where I would be damned if I let somebody call my hatred for him fear.. And then the more I stopped being as angry the more I analyzed that statement with deep thought when it would appear in my mind every blue moon.. I realize that I wasn't afraid of him, I was more so afraid of his actions and how I would react should he ever try to control me. It makes sense to me now...
We humans tend to fear the unknown... And once we gather some type of idea of the "unknown" we hate it because we don't understand it. Whether that fear lies in the lack of knowledge of the target's unknown capability, or in what one might do if affected by that target, depends on the person who's dishin out the hatred... or should I say "who's gathering up the fear"? ... Hatred to me is now a sub-emotion of fear. I hated my father because he was an ignorant authoritarian; and because he was an ignorant authoritarian, I feared for my life in my own hands and eventually his life in my hands as well.
((Note to self: reassure the people that you didn't take his ass out)).
I'm glad to say that my hatred for him has dissipated.. It is no more; but I am sad to say that it sucks to know that I am capable of such hatred towards another undeserving being.
My fears on this earth are very few.. And even the very few that I have, boil down to one single fear..
When people see my project... I honestly don't know what to expect. Looking at it I almost don't want to present. xD
So I thought it would be interesting to hear peoples' guesses of my biggest fear after I read this blog to them. Some of the guesses were pretty hilarious which I could definitely dig, but one person came really close. She guessed anger... and after she guessed that I just had to show the picture. I fear myself. I honestly do, but is it because of just my anger or is it because of ANY negative feeling or action/reaction that I inflict on myself?
Her guess really left me wondering... This is honestly something that I'm going to have to really analyze so I can work on my problems and come closer to peace and tranquillity. Peace within and around is what I desire the most. I love it, but sadly enough, things around me aren't quite ready for peace. At the same time that feeds the anger within. I really have to work on not letting such things get to me. I don't want to become desensitized or anything... I just want to have more of a tolerance... Tolerance and desensitization... are they the same?
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